You don't tug on Superman's cape

You don't spit into the wind

You don't pull the mask off that old Lone Ranger

And you don't mess around with Jim 

There are lots of lessons to learn in life, and the sooner you learn them, the better. Ask Jim Croce. He knew. Some things you just don't do.

Ideally, your parents and other adults gave you some pointers while you were young, and that saved you some of the trouble of having to figure things out for yourself.

However, if you weren't properly instructed as a youth or weren't paying sufficient attention to the wise advice of your elders, you may have had to learn the hard way not to mess with Jim or bad bad Leroy Brown. 

And you might have had to learn from personal experience that the burners on a stove ought not to be touched when they're hot and that a flagpole should not be licked in the dead of winter.

Cultivating common sense is a good idea, of course, but, still, it would be helpful if someone would compile a book of life lessons for those of us who have managed not to learn them all.

There would be lots of lessons in it. It would be a big book. 

Among the many lessons would be Life Lesson #3,185: Never plop down in a store's display hammock. If you like it, buy one, take it home, and attach it securely to two trees first. Or, carefully assemble the stand and make sure the hammock's attached properly at both ends.

Had she been aware of this life lesson two years ago, Pauline Minnis might have known not to sit in a display hammock at K-Mart and have it collapse on her, it never having been intended for use in the store.

Then she might not be suing the company in Hancock Circuit Court, or would she?

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Organizations in this Story

Hancock Circuit Court
102 Court Street
New Cumberland, WV 26047

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