Quantcast

WEST VIRGINIA RECORD

Friday, March 29, 2024

The misadventures of a Little Goody Two-Shoes

Once upon a time there was a little girl who dreamed of growing up to be a judge. Her brain was chock-full of ideas for changes in the court system. She just knew that the "different" ideas she'd thought up all by herself would make things better.

For instance, she thought it was silly to expect judges to recuse themselves and that it would be better to let an impartial person like her decide for them. She also thought that an impartial person like her should monitor the email of all judges to make sure they didn't communicate with the wrong people about the wrong things.

Little Goody Two-Shoes went to law school and became a trial attorney. She married another trial attorney and they made lots of money together. Then, one day, she decided to run for a seat on the State Supreme Court of Appeals.

Her campaign was the perfect opportunity to reveal her wonderful ideas for changes in the court system. (Instead of "changes," she called them "initiatives," because that made them sound more important.) Everyone would be so impressed with her initiatives that they would lose interest in the other candidates and vote for her instead, she would become a Supreme Court justice, implement her initiatives, and live happily ever after.

It was a delightful dream, but somehow it didn't turn out the way Little Goody Two-Shoes had expected.

You see, her wonderful ideas for changes in the court system -- her initiatives -- weren't seen as so wonderful. Instead of being impressed, voters found her initiatives presumptuous, superfluous, confusing, counterproductive, and even a little frightening. They decided that the last person they wanted on the State Supreme Court of Appeals was Little Goody Two-Shoes.

This, of course, is just a fairy tale. Nobody in real life could possibly be as silly and misguided as Little Goody Two-Shoes.

More News