West Virginia Record

When an old-timer with a white beard gets carded at the supermarket because he’s buying a case of beer, a box of wine, or a jug of whiskey, you know the world’s gone mad.

“Here’s my ID,” he says, tugging on his chin hairs. “I haven’t been carded in 40 years.”

The cashier politely explains that store policy assumes the imbecility of all employees and requires them to demand proof of age from anyone purchasing alcohol, no matter how decrepit the old booze buyer might seem.

There’s some sense in that. After all, it’s illegal to sell alcohol to minors -- and a bad idea, to boot. They’re crazy enough already. Why impair them further?

And you do have to be careful. There are kids out there who look old for their age, some of whom might be tempted to misrepresent themselves in order to enjoy a privilege reserved for their elders. It’s been known to happen.

Take these elongated adolescents who play high school basketball. Some of them are 6’2”, 6’3”, or even taller. An 18- or 19-year-old senior playing hoops for the Nitro Wildcats could easily pass for 21, if he was on his good behavior.

He might be able to walk into the Hooters in Beckley and drink all night, with no one the wiser.

That, apparently, is what a sly Dylan Lester did on the night of Sept. 30, 2011. By the time someone figured out he was underage and tossed his impertinent butt out, he was plastered.

On the second anniversary of that illegal escapade, this past Sept. 30th, Dylan filed suit in Raleigh County Circuit Court against the Beckley Hooters, blaming the buxom sports bar for a car accident he claims to have had on his inebriated way home.

Hooters might be subject to civil or criminal penalties for serving alcohol to a minor, but Dylan Lester, if he really wants to be a man, must accept responsibility for his spurious actions.