“Heavens to Murgatroyd!” “Heavens to Betsy!” “My heavens!”
You can attribute that first exclamation to Bert Lahr of Cowardly Lion fame – and to the pink Hanna-Barbera cartoon reincarnation, Snagglepuss. The origins of the other two phrases are harder to pinpoint.
Suffice it to say that they express surprise, astonishment even.
“My heavens!” was our reaction upon learning that a fifth grade boy and his guardian recently filed suit in Putnam Circuit Court against the Putnam County Board of Education for failing to prevent him from injuring his finger while playing football during recess on school grounds at Eastbrook Elementary School a year and a half ago.
We're unsure how the board could have prevented the alleged injury, other than by banning recess – which, in turn, might have led to muscular atrophy for the pint-sized plaintiff and also been actionable.
In addition to being surprised that someone, of any age, would file such a frivolous suit, we were astonished that an attorney would agree to represent the plaintiffs in such a proceeding.
That's when we exclaimed, “My Heavens!”
Yes, of course! Christopher J. Heavens of the Heavens Law Firm in Charleston. He took the case.
We can't wait to hear how our Heavens attempts to prove that the Putnam County school board is responsible – and financially liable for as large an amount as possible – for a minor injury that any rough-and-tumble boy might have incurred while doing fun boy things on a playground during recess.
Did the little ninny scrape his knees, too? Did he get a bloody nose?
Whatever happened to pretending that you’re not hurt? That's what boys used to do. “Oh, that didn't hurt,” they'd boast, as they tried to hide the pain.
Now they embrace victimhood, hire lawyers like Heavens, and set bad examples for other boys and girls.